I doubt the assembled executives will have ever encountered anything quite like this before. Don't get me wrong, they'll be well versed winers and diners, but I wouldn't have thought they'd have ever experienced the kind of hysteria that's gripped Auckland and Wellington these past few days.
For those outside our EEZ, the last fortnight or so has seen an explosion of manic reporting. Sir Peter Jackson, "big-time" Hollywood mogul and a director specialising in special-effect dominated epics - also, a New Zealander - has spat the dummy.
Sir Peter is upset that the independent contractors he hires as actors have demanded collective bargaining. This, after everything he's done for the New Zealand film industry. Sorry, Film Industry.
Sir Peter is the Film Industry, after all. Him and Sir Richard Taylor, the other inheritor of the 'Sir' for services to film.
Besides, everybody knows actors get paid plenty anyway. For the greedy bastards to expect the ability to sit down together and negotiate the conditions of their employment is outrageous. Outrageous Fortune.
Witness, the last fortnight's torrid narrative.
Somehow, the actors' union has managed to alienate itself from the news cycle, something extraordinary given its supposed contacts and credentials. The excuse, of course, is that they're only young and didn't talk to their mentors sooner.
Conspiracy theorists might say the last fortnight has played out too brilliantly for John Key. This last fortnight will no doubt resurface during next year's campaign as an example of rabid unions and the risks they present New Zealand's fragile economy.
It would be unfair to simply blame the media for creating the front pages over the last few days. The fact this situation has exploded in the face of Actors' Equity has more to do with the growing perception among many of a 'conceited class' of spoiled, politically active actors than the ability of the local news media to stir a story into existence.
Still, the fact the government - on behalf of all loyal citizens - has fawned all over the Hollywood types and passed legislation under urgency that fundamentally affects an employee's ability to negotiate the terms of their employment collectively makes it clear New Zealand's open for business.
